What do I want to be when I grow up?

I had a meeting with the Rotman career counsellor today, and I realized that I have a lot of soul searching to do. She asked me what I thought an ideal job would be, and I could only come up with 3 things. The saddest part was I had to really struggle to come up with those 3 things. One of the questions she asked me was “What I considered fun, and what I enjoyed at work?” Frig! My mind went blank. Work - Fun? You got to be kidding me. It got even worse when she asked me what I wanted to do. I listed five completely different things. She was very nice about it, and said a lot of people are like me. I think she was just trying to make me feel better. I felt like telling her that my ideal job would be to start my own film company and make some indie films. On days like this I really feel like ‘Bridget’.

I ended up walking home after as I needed to think. I realized I have been entrenched in the corporate world for so long; fun isn’t even part of the equation. I remember when I first graduated I was so excited to have a job in banking. I remember when I got my first job downtown, and I felt all grown up. The newness of everything; the excitement. I want that back. As some of you know I had wanted to go to school full time. I needed to just be. I feel I have just been running on the corporate treadmill for so long that I don’t even know what I want anymore. Funnily enough, on my way home I walked down Yonge Street. A section of Yonge Street was closed off for a 5K race. The race was the ‘Bay Street Rat Race’. For those who don’t know, Bay Street is Toronto’s financial street. I think it was a sign. I just wish I knew what it was trying to tell me.